Things I do to Survive When It's Beyond -20 Celcius Outside

01.01.18 09:57 PM By Putri

Baby, it's cold outside... like cryogenic cold, and it doesn't seem like it is going to get warmer anytime soon. I mean, look at this weather forecast for the following 5 days, it is all minus two-digit celsius. If you think the number shown is awful, there is worse; the RealFeel┬« Celcius, because it represents how cold the temperature actually feels like for your body. It calculates multiple factors apart from the temperature itself, such as cloud shade, wind, and sun intensity. RealFeel┬« Celcius is actually more important to notice than merely just the temperature. Like shown in the pic, it said it's -23 C, but it would actually feel like frickin' -37 Celcius. FREEECKEEEN' -37 C, y'all!! 

Quebec is known to have a long dang cold winter. It even has a tradition of an annual blizzard. The temperature starts to plummet in October, snow would fall sometime at the end of the month or early November, and the snow will only melt on May. MAY, ladies and gentlemen!!.. Usually, the peak of the cold season falls on January and February where the temperature could go down well below -20 C, only somehow for some reasons, we are having this extreme cold this week in December. 

Some people blame the global warming for this extreme weather, some blame the polar vortex. While I, I blame my sorry ass for not scheduling a getaway during this horrible season. I like winter only when I can escape from it. 

I must admit tho, there are some winter activities that I grew fond of, like snuggling under the bed the whole day, snowshoeing, and sipping endless chai tea. However, when the weather goes below -20 Celcius, I prefer to stay indoor. It is actually could be dangerous to stay out for too long in this kind of harsh weather (frostbite, etc). Even the Government of Canada cancels some of the events on the New Year's Eve party that was supposed to be held in the Parliament Hill, Ottawa.

I like it better when it snows, frankly. Because snow falls only when it is around 0 Celcius to -5 Celcius, which is tolerable. Snow makes everything looks white and serene, it's beautiful. It makes me feel like I live in a giant cake where everything else is cake decorations sprinkled with confectioner sugar. 

When it goes very cold like this week, it sucks donkey balls. There is not much to do outdoor that does not give you the risk of getting frostbite. Since everyone is listing their moves to survive this awfully awful cold weather, here is mine: 

1. Take a screenshot of the weather forecast, published it on every socmed, secretly feeling badass for living in such harsh weather

Every body does this. Seriously, they do. 

2. Stay inside in pyjama, all day. Possibly under the blanket too. 

Winter indoor activity in my dictionary means being inside a building, under the blanket, falling asleep comfortably. 

3. Krank up the heater to the max, unconsciously curing myself alive

This is totally unhealthy tho and hard for the skin. It dries you out like a beef jerky. 

4. Trying to bake something for a snack and fail miserable due to the lack of ingredients, and it is too cold to go to the grocery

Me: Aww.. Look at these! I didn't know I have a hidden modern art talent!

Him: Ummm.. I think you need to work on your cookie decorating skill. I still love you tho. 

5. Checking friend's Instagram pics of their vacation in the South and develop a seething jealous rage

5. Check ticket prices for a trip to the South and got deeper into depressing jealous rage


Those Boxing day advertisements got my hope high and yet it still unaffordable. 

6. Planning to go into hibernation until mid April

If you can not migrate during winter like those birds, hibernate like the bears. 

7. Questioning the sanity and the cold receptor function of those people who actually goes outside in this kind of weather

Seriously folks, are you half pinguin half human or something? 

8. Take a long bath until my fingers crumple like dried raisins while indulging the possibility answers for my unlimited 'what if' questions

What if the fridge can talk, what would it say to me if I get myself another snack right now.. 

9. Having an(other) existential crisis, trying to find a justification for living in a place that is colder than Mars 

10.Judging those poor souls who try to start their frozen car, from the window, while cupping a huge mug of chai tea

Stay warm, lovely dumplings!