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Dear diary,
As I have just gotten out of my 20s (okay, it was years ago), my endless saga battling the sign of aging is getting more vicious as days go by. I tried to be cool and tried my best to embrace the physical signs of maturity that started to show and I failed miserably. I noticed that in the past years that my skin is not as tight as it used to be and I don’t digest donuts well anymore. Realizing this, I started to pick up some good habits like ditching sodas (in which as the result, I take my whiskey pure), drink more water, and taking multiple exercise classes in a week. If I am being honest, I don’t have a single reason to do all that, that isn’t 100% superficial. Am I superficial? Well, I know I like to looking and feeling good from the outside in.
I think I am on the limit where I can no longer ignore the aging symptoms, especially regarding my face skin. I didn’t have a flawless skin to start with. I spent my teenhood covered 3 feet beneath raging acnes, I have pores so wide that if I don’t dry my face after a shower, ducks might land on it thinking it’s a pond. My face also seems to have its own micro-climate system; the north region (forehead) needs more hydration while the other regions have problem drying out. My T zone is so oily, the US might think that my face needs a democracy. Bags under my eyes are perkier than my boobs yet the skin around it is rather dry, mushy, and lifeless. Like a piece of wattle. Plus, this Northern climate where summer is blazing hot and winter are ball-freezing cold is tough for my Asian skin. And as if all those problems aren’t enough to deal with, my skin is still in the perpetual process of figuring out its dilemma; being oily or dry. My face is an epitome of complicated complication.
I have asked everyone I know about their face treatment methods and most of them claimed that they get their flawless glowing skin simply by washing their face with fresh water. Yeah, riiiiiite! I am sensing bullcr*ps there. I mean, first of all, I put makeup on a daily basis, washing my face with only water won’t cleanse my face properly. Now you might want to say that my skin problems come from the makeup. Well, ya know, girlfriend can’t go to work looking as wrinkly and dull as her pillow she sleeps on.
I am done with over-the-counter products. I’ve tried most of the face treatments from the pharmacy, but my skin face reaction was like: “Nah bruh, that don’t work no more”. I now shop at the fancy pants makeup store called SEPHucking expensiveORA for my skin treatments. Not because I cough gold coins nor willing to spend frivolously my heard earned dollah, but my face is in dire need of a potent concoction. A hardcore mix of chemical substance, preferably the one that has been tested on mice in a hidden lab, and now that lab is full of bald mice with plump and glowing skin.
I have gracefully transformed from misusing butt cream for face to adopting a facial routine using a fancy Japanese brand. I never skip to cleanse my face before bed, dab some toner, and slab moisturizer generously on my face, neck and chest area. Rinse and repeat, twice a day. I also put on some super-moisturizing mask from the same brand once a month.
Yet that doesn’t seem to be enough..
I am taking my face-torturing-treatment regime to the next level; I am going to abrade this thick layer of black and white comedos on my face, and hopefully we can somehow find a unicorn-butt softness underneath this rhino skin mask of mine. The thing is, this treatment is hella expensive and the only way I could afford it is by pawning myself to the devil, so this treatment better be working.
I have been thinking (read: do some financial calculation and asking myself if this self-impoverishment is the way to tackle this gravity and oxygen induced unattractiveness), like do I really need to do all these? The answer is yes, because YOYO: You Only Young Once! and because I am gullible by pretty ads.
OK, rant over...