At an ungodly hour this morning, my phone buzzed. I turned it off without even bothered to check if it was a phone call, a message, an alarm, or an e-mail.And then it buzzed again and I turned it off again, only this time with grumbles. I put the phone back onto the nightstand. It buzzed again. Reluctantly, I opened my phone to read the clock, it was 3 AM, and I have a message. Who the heck dared to contact me at this time of hour..
.
.
My brain was still fuzzy and ¾ asleep as I read the message, it was from a dear friend, Indhi. This was how it went:
Indhi : Milla has gone.
Me : Did you check at her BF’s place?
Indhi : She has left, forever.
Me : Where to?
Indhi : she has R.I.P you dumb
! I did not compute… … …
So I called her, between the sobs, tears, and cries, I came to a heart-breaking realization; a long time friend, one of the most beautiful souls in my life has just passed away… I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this news. I awkwardly went back to sleep. Yes, I am a cold-hearted sleepy head.
I must have been the luckiest person in the world who has not experienced the passing of close friend, it took me awhile to finally understood what it mean and how big the impact is.
Milla had a beautiful soul, she was smart, funny, and I loved her. We have known each other since junior high, our history dated back from the awkward teen era. We weren’t bestest of friends, but somehow connected, we clicked in every sense. We didn’t need to chat every day but when we chatted, it felt like we’ve never been apart. Memories of her started to linger, all those fun times. Then I remembered that all the plans we had prepared together will have to be abandoned. It felt like everything went out of hand. All of the sudden she had to go and there was no negotiation. She died from a heart condition. She was only 33 years young. I was sad. I was mad. I was madly sad. How do you cope with a death of a friend, if that even possible??? I really need advice. Grief sucks, honestly.
I won’t tag her on my whining-in-grief posts on facebook nor write a sweet eulogy on her wall, since someone couldn’t just stay alive to read it anyway, could she??? She just had to be the early bird among us in everything, so she’s the first one who left. What a prick. And I am throwing away all these stuff I have prepared for when we were supposed to meet this November..
